My pregnant body

Two nights before my scheduled induction I went to be bed loving my body. It was a feeling of wonder that two children could grow inside of me, that I could feel them, that soon they would arrive earth side, and that I would be able to hold them and hug them. I would finally get to see their faces, their hair and their eyes. I would get to know their personalities. For the first time in a long time I was no longer scared that they were not doing well, not growing well. I was at peace with the faith that was awaiting me.

The last seven weeks had been hectic and rollercoaster-like, while at the same time the most relaxing I had experienced in two years time. At 30 weeks 5 days of pregnancy, during a routine checkup the doctor discovered my cervix had shortened and I dilated 1 cm. They brought me to a different hospital to do more tests to find out if I was going into labour. That test came back negative, but I did get the urgent recommendation to immediately quit all activity and stop working. I had to take rest. It wasn’t entirely bedrest, because as the doctor put it “you don’t have to lay in bed all day, you can walk from your bed to your couch to watch Telly”. It was funny he used the word telly, and even funnier because we don’t have one. So for me, it meant I was allowed to walk from the bed to the couch and sit.

Anyways, that is what I did. The first week and a half were the most crucial, I had to make it to 32 weeks pregnancy to be able to deliver the babies in the hospital in my home city. Those 1,5 weeks I did exactly what the doctor told me, and so I basically did nothing. When we made it, we celebrated our milestone.

The next goal was to make it to 34 weeks of pregnancy. At 34 weeks the babies have much better chances to recover from their preterm birth without any lasting effects. We celebrated reaching 34 weeks and the doctor said I could slowly start increasing my activity. I walked to the corner of the street, had coffee or a lunch and went back.

The final goal was to reach 36 weeks, and we celebrated when I did. If they would be born now they probably wouldn’t need to be on oxygen. I was surprised (to say the least) that we made it this far. The first doctor (the one that told me about my Telly) told me that even though I was not delivering the twins right there and then, that I probably was not going to make it to 37-38 weeks either. Reaching 36 was a shock and a relief. By now I also started wanting to deliver them, as pregnancy became very heavy on my body, they were safe, and I was safe. But they didn’t come.

Then I made it to 37 weeks. I still cannot fathom that now, when people ask me how far along I am, I can actually say I am 37 weeks, they are full grown. All odds were against us, but here we are. Still Growing strong, big and healthy. My induction is in about 33 hours. When we scheduled it last Thursday my doctor said that “they will probably arrive before that, but it is good to have a date set”. As of now, I think we will actually make it to induction day and I have no idea how this is possible. Miracles are real. Miracles are true. Tonight I lay in my bed pondering the miracles of this pregnancy and how we (me and the babies) managed to make it this far.